


A Little Drunk

by Pachipikachu



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Crying, Deceit Sanders Angst, Drunkenness, Swearing, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Sympathetic Remus Sanders, also not really tho, an asshole too, he’s just sad tbh, sorta - Freeform, the light sides are kinda mean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-17 23:47:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20629550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pachipikachu/pseuds/Pachipikachu
Summary: Deceit doesn’t get drunk often.Not at all.





	A Little Drunk

**Author's Note:**

> i got lazy at the end  
not my best tbh
> 
> warnings: alcohol, drunk deceit, kinda mean light sides, crying snek boi, yelling

Deceit didn't get drunk often.

But of course, that was a complete and utter lie, sticking true to his function. He was almost always tipsy or buzzed whenever you'd happen to run into him. Those 'Light Sides' nearly never noticed, but that's only because they've never seen him _truly_ and completely sober. They've just assumed that his tipsy self was his usual demeanor. The hissing of his speech? The way he held himself like a snake being charmed? The small hints of flirting as he spoke? All because he was nearly always under the influence of alcohol. After the day would be done and over with, he'd indulge himself in a bottle or two of wine and forget his pains and troubles. And, of course, he'd suffer the consequences the day after, but who ever said that bliss didn't have the price of pain?

He never remembered those alcohol-induced nights, however. He didn't know of the ill-advised decisions he just so happened to make. Either Remy or—on rare occasion—Remus would tuck him into bed before he'd decide to hurt himself in one way or another.

This night, he escaped from Remy before he could be caught and shoved into his room. 

"Hah, ssstupid Remy.." Deceit snickered to himself as he stumbled a bit down the hall, bottle of wine sloshing in his gloved hand. His hat had disappeared sometime ago, exposing the rat's nest that was his hair. He kept walking and almost tripping over himself, down the hallway he went. The walls became less dark, warmth radiating from the Light Sides' common ground. Deceit squinted his heterochromatic eyes at the glow that seemed to emit from the end of the hall. It was warm. He liked warm. So towards the warm he went.

He hopped over, basking in the comforting warmth and radiance that was the Light Side. An ignorant smiled graced his features, giving him a look of innocence and bliss. Taking another swig of the grape juice that burned going down his throat, he peeked into the commons, sticking his tongue out to smell the air. Smelled mostly of alcohol, thanks to the wine coating his mouth. Huffing, Deceit slipped into the room and glanced around while swaying in place.

Bright.  
Warm.  
Talking in the background.

...talking in the background?

"...sshit." Deceit hissed, making his way over to the couch and gracefully flopping over the arm, face-planting into a cushion. He shimmied himself onto the rest of the couch, face firmly placed into a throw pillow. The arm holding his beloved grape-flavored poison hung off the couch. He let a sigh slip through his lips, muffled in the rough cloth. The clips of his capelet uncomfortably pressed into his chest, irritating his scales underneath.

He pressed his face further into the pillow before using his free hand to lazily snap a different outfit onto himself. He popped into a loose but warm black hoodie, yellow snake designs adorning the fabric. A black beanie plopped itself onto his head, hiding the mess that was his hair. In all his incoherent thought, he still had a reputation to uphold. No revealing of messy hair. He swapped into more comfortable sweatpants as well. Giving a small, content purr, he lifted himself up, just enough to take another gulp of wine. There was still around a quarter of the bottle left, Deceit noted.  
"God, I can't wait to die from alcohol poisssoning." Deceit muttered into the pillow. He blinked once. "Fuck, I can't die." He groaned to himself.

"I do not understand the purpose of baking pastries here. We can summon what we wish, so there is no reason to go through the hassle of manually cooking food." Logan's voice edged closer to Deceit, that monotone voice seeming to rant to someone else.  
"Aw, but Lo! Baking's fun! Even though we don't _have_ to, we can still enjoy it! And don't cookies taste better homemade?" Patton's bubbly voice responded. Deceit could almost _hear_ the smile that Patton had on. He tensed up on the couch, vaguely wondering if they'd throw him back to his room if they saw him. Deceit blinked slowly, already sick of staying still. He drank to forget the annoyances called the Light Sides, but their presence seemed to always plague him, no matter what he was doing.

With the carelessness of someone who had no self-preservation, Deceit thought it logical to try and silently roll of the couch to slither back to the Dark Side. He so carefully plopped the wine bottle atop the coffee table in front of the couch with a '_clink!_', before falling off said furniture with a thud. He blinked up at the ceiling of the common room with squinted eyes. The ceiling looked to be inspired by Harry Potter, the walls fading away to reveal a beautiful night sky sprinkled with twinkling stars and a bright crescent moon. Temporarily distracted by the enchanting ceiling, Deceit forgot about the other two sides in the room.

"..What was that sound?" Patton asked quietly, sounding spooked. Logan cleared his throat.  
"Are you referring to the sound of glass on our table or the thud of a heavy object falling onto the floor?" He asked, starting to walk over to the listed furniture.  
"Both, I guess..." Patton answered, following after him. "Mostly the thud, though."  
Logan gave a hum as he looked over the back of the couch. His eyes widened a bit as he held back a small flinch. Adjusting his glasses, he responded.  
"Well, it looks like Deceit is on the floor." He answered simply. Patton ran over in alarm.  
"What?! What's Deceit doing here?" He asked, confusion extremely clear in his voice.  
"..fuck off," Deceit responded oh-_so_ eloquently. He looked up at the two sides that were peering at him from over the couch. He propped himself up onto his elbows, pushing himself into a sitting position. His hands found their way into his vision and he spent a good 30 seconds squinting at the offending gloves covering his hands.

Meanwhile, Patton and Logan glanced at each other. One being nervous and a bit anxious (thanks, Virgil), and the other being completely done with the snake in the commons.  
"_Logan_, what do we _do_?" Patton whispered in a hiss through his teeth. With a heavy sigh and a massage of the nose, Logan walked around the couch and over to the spaced-out side.  
"Salutations, Deceit. May I inquire what exactly you're doing here?" Logan asked, words precise and punctual as usual. Deceit, in turn, shoved his hands into his pocket at the question, about to answer.

He stopped himself before he could say anything. There was weird _shit_ in his pockets. Ultimate confusion scribbled across his face as he pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket, covered in glitter, some of the glitter sprinkling off into the carpet to be immortalized, never to go away. It was folded and upon opening it up, it was a note that came with piles of glitter in his pockets.  
'_We're coming for you, you fucking dumbass -Remy <3_'  
Deceit read it slowly, scoffing as he finished.

"Fuck you, Remy." He said to the note itself, crumpling it up and tossing it into the air before it vanished. He slowly got up to his feet, almost tripping over himself and falling onto the couch. He caught himself by holding onto the arm of the couch, dizziness plaguing his vision for a moment. He glanced up at the other two, concerned sides.  
"...oh, sshit, you two are ssstill here." He mumbled under his breath.  
"Yes, and you still have not answered my question." Logan responded, crossing his arms. Patton nodded and crossed his arms as well, like a disappointed dad.

"Iss it not obviousss? I'm here trying to passs out from..." Deceit squinted his eyes before pointing to the wine bottle on the table. "..that."  
Logan gave a disappointed glare while Patton seemed the slightest bit concerned.  
"Er- how much didja drink?" Patton asked slowly. Deceit rapidly blinked, narrowing his eyes at Morality before shifting his eyes to the bottle.  
"...I think..that one'ss the third..." He muttered, putting a hand to his chin in thought.

Patton gave an exasperated sigh before looking towards Logan for help. Logan adjusted his necktie before-  
"Hey, Logan." Deceit slurred, interrupting himself with a snicker. "I ssswear you have a bondage kink or sssomething." He commented with a slight drunken giggle, eyeing his necktie. "And, if not, you can always experiment on me~" He said with a sloppy wink and a sultry tone, a smirk accompanying it. It didn't turn out as...seductive as he thought it did, but it did fluster the logical side, nonetheless.  
"Shut it. Patton, get Virgil or Roman." Logan hissed with a pink tone on his face. "He needs to go back to his room o-or leave, or something." Logan said, tripping up in his still-flustered stupor.

"Sso...you do?" Deceit questioned before bursting into tiny giggles.  
"I said, and I quote, 'Shut it.'," Logan gritted his teeth before motioning for Patton to get the others.  
"You didn't deny it.." Deceit sung in a teasing tone, dragging out the words.

Eventually, Patton came back with both Virgil and Roman, walking upon Deceit hanging off the couch while sitting upside down.  
"'Ssup, lossersss," Deceit hissed heavily as a greeting, kicking his feet against the back of the couch. Logan sighed.  
"Greetings, Virgil, Roman." Logan said simply. "As you can see, we have a bit of a problem here." Logan motioned towards Deceit, who was sliding off the couch to grab the wine bottle.  
"What is that scaley fiend doing here?!" Roman exclaimed, dramatically pointing at the snake-faced side.  
"Cool it, Princey, but also, what _is_ he doing here?" Virgil almost growled.

Deceit, his stomach on the couch, lifted the bottle again to take more gulps (to which Roman whisper-yelled, "He isn't even drinking with a glass, the _heathen!_") before the alcohol got jerked out of his hand.  
"Wha- Give it _back!_" Deceit hissed angrily. Patton looked down at the pissed snake, glancing at the bottle with apprehension.  
"I think you should stop, Deceit. This isn't very healthy." Patton scolded lightly with an unsure look on his face. Deceit scoffed in response.  
"And how would _you_ know what'ss besst for _me?!_" Deceit snarled, accidentally shouting. He snatched the drink back, sitting up somewhat straight, and took another gulp. Patton let out the smallest whimper at the sudden noise.

Virgil took a step towards Deceit, clenching his fists and gritting his teeth. Deceit flicked his eyes at him before hissing harshly. Virgil's arm got held back by someone's hand, keeping him from going any farther. Logan shook his head at the anxious side.  
"It isn't worth it, Virgil. He's intoxicated." He mumbled, tugging Virgil away. Huffing, Virgil glared at Deceit, hatred clear in his eyes.  
"Yess, Virge, listen to your new light ssside friendsss! They ssurely know what'ss best for you!" Deceit spoke, sarcasm heavily coating his tone. "Unlike your old family, right? The evil 'Dark Ssidesss'?" Deceit taunted, letting out loud laughs.

"Shut up,"  
"What? Afraid of uss _tainting_ your reputation? Don't want your new family to know that you _abandoned_ us without so much as a sssecond thought?!" Deceit's words rose with each bark of hysteric laughter and hiss, his mocking words like syrup, a false sweetness in every syllable. He almost didn't realize the tears steadily building in his eyes.

"We were just a _horrible_ family, right? We _definitely_ were never there for you when you needed uss mossst, right?" Any composure he had left was slowly crumbling with each question as he grinned emptily at Virgil, his voice becoming rough from held back sobs.  
"Shut. Up." Virgil snarled firmly, his gaze glaring into Deceit's eyes with a fiery anger.

"Don't want _them_ to know that we weren't good enough for you? Don't want to admit that you _hated_ me?!" Deceit yelled, dropping the bottle in his hand, it falling with a dull thud. A stunned silence met his ears as he finally felt the tears sliding down his face.

"Becausse that'sss the truth, isn't it?" Deceit broke the fragile silence that hung in the air with the weak question, his voice cracking at the very end of the sentence. His speech was broken, so quiet and small.  
"We weren't good enough for you, right? _I_ wasn't good enough for you." Deceit sniffled, more hot tears dripping down, collecting at the bottom of his chin. He roughly rubbed his hoodie sleeve across his face, his vision blurring with more tears.  
"Fuck, I'm weak," Deceit mumbled with a humorless chuckle, looking down at the wet sleeve.

The silence dragged on, the light sides watching the crying snake with pity and guilt. Deceit took a sharp inhale before staggering up into a standing position, grasping the couch arm to stay still.  
"Ssstupid fucking ssnake...can't even control yoursself..." He muttered to himself while holding onto the couch, walking unsteadily, pushing the other sides aside as he stumbled back towards the hallway. Just as he made it to the start of the hallway, another dark side and a function popped up in front of him.

"Dee-Cee! Babe, don't wander like that again, I almost screamed myself hoarse trying to find.." Remy trailed off of his rant as he took in the sight of Deceit. Face a burning red, his eyes still shining with unshed tears while bloodshot, and generally looking miserable as ever.  
"Oh, sugar, what happened?" Remy asked with a gentle voice, placing a hand on Deceit's shoulder and one cupping his cheek. Deceit shut his eyes and leaned his head against the hand like a stray animal yearning for comfort and warmth.  
"What's wrong with snake daddy? Did he break his baby wine bottle, shattering like the death of Pink Diamond? Ooh, is he bleeding? Did he have fun with a hidden bloodplay kink I never knew about—" Remus' voice chimes in with his unfiltered self, being strangely mellow compared to other things he's said.

"Remus, babe, shut up for a moment?" Remy groaned. "Sympathize? For once? For our favorite snake here?"  
Remus twisted himself around Remy, looking Deceit up and down. The side in question shrunk, trying to hide in his hoodie or Remy's hand. Ashamedly, Deceit _actually_ felt vulnerable under Remus' gaze. Damn the alcohol for making him weak and exposed.  
"Double Dee? Why're you crying?" Remus questioned loudly. "Who did that? Was it one of those Lights? Did they hurt you?!" Remus almost shrieked.

"Was it my dear brother? Virgey? Wait, wait, was it Patton?? I swear if it was any of them, I'll grab their throats and squeeze so tight, tight enough to make them blue like monkey balls!" Remus shouted, glancing over at the sides that still stood frozen after Deceit's admittance. Deceit shook his head.  
"It'ss fine," He hissed. "Can we jusst go back..?" Remy's eyes softened underneath his sunglasses.  
"Of course, Dee-Dee." He murmured, wrapping an arm around the drunken side. "Gurl, you gotta slow it down on the alcohol, y'know?"

Deceit scoffed as he shoved his hands in his pocket.  
"Shut up, you fuckin' VSssCO girl."  
"I have never been more offended in my life."  
Pulling out a handful of glitter, Deceit tossed it at Remy with a deadpanned look, the bits glittering and sparkling from the light given off of the stars in the ceiling.  
"Congrats," Deceit said dully. Remy shook his head like a dog, letting some glitter sprinkle out of his hair.  
"Fuck you too, Dee."

Remus hung back, looking towards the Light Sides with an ice-cold glare. He mined a cut across his throat with his thumb, accompanied with a sickening, crackly hiss. Giving a manic laugh at the other sides' (well, it was really only Patton and Virgil) terrified expressions, he hopped away, after Deceit and Remy.

* * *

“...what..what happened last night?”  
“Nothing, babe. Don’t worry about it, just take the painkillers, okay?”  
“But—”

“Okay?”  
“..okay,”

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments much appreciated!!


End file.
